Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
