I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
