Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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