i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
