In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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