oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
