Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
