If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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