He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
