your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
