I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
