i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
