You made me cry and you don't even care
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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