watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
