i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
