Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
