I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
