I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
