I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
