Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
