Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
