dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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