people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
