She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
