Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
operation harelip BJ is a go
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
