I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
