Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
