I should be sponsored by Trojan
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
