she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
