How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
