i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
