Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize