I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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