I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Less talking, more tequila
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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