i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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