i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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