just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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