i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
