dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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