pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
