u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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