I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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