wake up i wanna do it froggy style
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
