Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize