I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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