why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Drunk is a universal language darling
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
