You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
