Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
