The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
