I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
