Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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