Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
