Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
