my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize