Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
