He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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