I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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