Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
