What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
