Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
