i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
