...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
