Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize